What a day!
Yesterday was pretty boring. Going to school, eating lunch alone, and getting home and passing out. This has become my daily ritual. Can my life get any more pathetic?
Well, today proved otherwise. I decided to ditch work to hand out with a friend. We went to the mall. I felt like a teenager ditching high school.
After a long day of spending money I shouldn't have and buying many things that I don't need, I came home to the same things I find everyday. A sad, messy room. I turtle I can't find. And a father who I don't talk to. After beginning to organize my disastrous room, I came to the conclusion that I'm lonely. Yes, everything in my life is pointing to the fact that I'm lonely.
How can this be? Or rather, how can this not be? I isolate myself from things which would bring people in my life, like parties. I don't go on dates. I don't go out alone because I am without car. But either way, it's like I put myself in a box where I am all alone. Do I want to stay like this? I think the better question is: do I want to change?
In order to answer this I need to think about whether I truly despite this scenario of mine. Once I figure this out, I can think about if I want to change this... or not.