No Woman No Cry - Fugees

Hello lovers!

You know what, I have to be honest. The first time I heard this song, I was gone. And by that I mean smashed. It was at my niece's 1st birthday party. And I found it to be the loveliest song I'd heard in the longest time. It made me smile, and I kept repeating the chorus in my heard for the next few days. That wasn't the only thing that was in my head. It took me 3 days to get over the hangover. Goddamn Jack.

Anyway, today while in my wonderful, awesome nap, I had a dream about a guy I'd never met. I don't know his name or anything to specific about him, except that he was tall and a dirty blonde. As I was saying, what struck me most about him was that he was the perfect guy. He had great taste in clothes, music, was very witty, the flirtatious banter was amazing, and he made guys jealous. All in all, he was the perfect guy. The problem was that he was gay, and that I was a beard.

This, in fact, is no problem for me. I have, numerous times, mentioned that I would make a perfect beard. There would be no jealousy. Just an amazing gay bestie/"bf"(or husband) and me spending out gay summers doing things (sexual things) separately and having wonderful diner parties, together. FYI, I watch way too much TV. This would be the perfect relationship, without having to be one; because I'm not stupid enough to do that to myself. It so simple, why isn't everyone doing this for themselves???

I know what you're saying to yourself: would you want to get some. OBVIOUSLY! But, if I get a great vibrator, I believe I'd be set.

So where was I going with all of this... oh, yes. I'm not becoming a lesbian (too much time, and energy; plus women are bitches), but I am officially advertising my services as a beard. I'm gonna finish this up so I can make my Craigslist ad.

Until next time, my lovelies. Let's be free to be you and me; let's be young and free! (and beards!!!)