Graveyard Orbit - Crystal Stilts

Hello lovers!

I would never call myself the voice of a generation. I am, only, my own voice. And since I am my own voice, here goes nothing.

After 4, and when I say 4 it was from Monday to Thursday, days of online dating I decided it was too much.

Guys, what the hell is wrong with you?!?!?!?!

Thanks, by the way, by proving something that I've always known, but wish wasn't true: guys are only interested in sex. And please, for the love of everything that you hold sacred, note the sarcasm.

I guess this is mostly my fault.

Anyway, from the top.

On Monday, feeling weird while hanging with my bestie, I decided to do something that I now call "one of my many stupid accidents" and started an OKCupid account. Doesn't seem so bad, right? Well, in my endeavor to be more outgoing I marked off that I was there for "casual sex." Right. Does it mean that I always have my legs open for anyone who's interested? NO! What it means, at least from me, is that there could be the possibility of a friends with benefits relationship going on if I find anyone worthy of it. But the way some of you guys are approaching me, it's at the very least its moderately creepy. By Thursday, if anything, all the messages made me wanna close my legs forever.

I should also mention that I still have my V card. It's like whatever. It's unimportant... at least I'm trying to make it seem... And this is why I'm kinda weird about "casual sex" with random guys from a free online dating service. Aside from the fact that it's random guys from a free online dating service.

God, guys, I don't know where you get off. You want an easy girl, who you will refer to as a "slut" who you don't have to know anything about or care about. If we're not open for business like that, then we're prudes or teases. If you want someone with open legs, go to a bar, buy her a drink. And ladies, order something expensive, don't be cheap. But guys, you should be aware than nothing in this life is that easy. There is something that you have to sacrifice in order to get some. Even on Craigslist.

If you want something easy, you can always diddle yourself; or use a Fleshlight.

Either way, one thing's for sure: at the rate you're going, I won't know where you're getting off since it won't be with me.