I am a terrible human being. I know this for a fact, and am open and honest about it... unlike most. And when I say that I'm a terrible human being, I mean I use people for my own benefits, more so than most do.
If only you knew about all the free beverages I get just for showing up at a certain Starbucks. (And no, I have never, nor will ever, trade sexual favors for Starbucks; I'm not that type of whore.) Anyways, I flirt and smile and make the world's most pointless small talk to get myself all these things for free or low cost; and if necessary, I will show what little god (lower case "g," as always) has given me.
And I will be even more honest and say that there are about three gentlemen who I do this with.
Do you want names?
Oh, okay!
Their names are Robert, Johnny and Andrew. I would use their Christian names, but I don't know these guys last names... and neither should you! Nosy ass people!
But there's also this other guy. I would say his name... but I don't know it. Shocker, right? I, the ultimate modern non-Nancy Drew, do not know this guy's name. He's been in my life for as long as Robert has (the first of the Starbucks gentlemen which I made an acquaintance with) but I never caught his name. (Maybe I should go thru last years receipts to see if his name is on one of them.) He looks like a David so I will call him... David 2.0. (Andrew also looks like a David, and for a while I thought of as David; plus David 2.0 as a nickname just sounds bitchin'.)
Anyways, David 2.0 is somewhat taller than I, has some facial hair, is slimmer than me, and has small gauges in his ears (too big would gross the fuck out of me). He seems very quiet, somewhat shy, like if he keeps to himself. Watch him be into some über hardcore porn? That would just be... it. That makes so much sense. So... yeah. He seems... well I honest don't know what the fuck he seems like but he is attractive, and not in a 'I'm so into myself because I know how good I look" kinda way, but in the "I'm not an obvious douche-bag, I know I'm okay looking" kinda way, which is good.
I should also mention that David 2.0 looks like he would be a good kisser... and make-out partner ;)
(People, what do you want me to say? I need to be touched...)
Plus, this guy is very decent looking human being (by that I mean that he appears to be decent, this has nothing to do with how attractive he is, which was aforementioned), nothing extreme about his appearance about him, and he doesn't appear to want to peddle drugs onto me or be a pothead. I don't know, this might be a good thing.
So... let the flirting begin :)
Any more on David 2.0 will be put up as it happens...
You know what this means... more morning Starbucks (which is when I see David 2.0), which equal more digestive problems which equal more time with the porcelain king... Let the good times roll!!!
Plus, this will make me more of a whore than I already am. Using 4 guys? I know! Most women only use one. What can I say? When necessary I will become the world's best multi-tasker.
I know, I'm the worst type of person.
Like you any better...
