(I'm gonna stop rhyming, and slap myself. I'm sorry for what just happened there.)
For this past year, I've decided break this list up by months. It's the best way to really figure this out in the last minute without driving myself crazy.
January
Ringing in the year with one of my fave baes, being hella drunk. Got to chill with her the first day of the year, too. And, because of her, I watch Younger. Bless you, Jessica. Much love.
The rest of this month is a blur.
Telling my dad I was moving out. It was a...harsh...conversation between us. Things were said, mean, but honest things, and I know that for the rest of my life, I won't forget this conversation.
February
When I moved, I moved for good. I left LA and moved into the Central Valley. Like someone once said, this was the best of times, this was the worst of times.
I was reminded why my cousin Ali is my fave cousin. Should she ever need a favor, I will do whatever is in my power to help. She took me into her home, it's the least I could do for her.
I no longer have Internet. It is my addiction, and I have a problem.
March
Going on job interviews is the absolute worst. It's like going on dates, but at the end it just seriously sucks so much ass.
Broken promises, broken hearts, and I am just now realizing what dating up here will be in Northern California. Ass. Pure ass.
April
It is the anniversary of my mother's death, and I will not be filling last years taxes this year. Sad moments all around.
Also, what the fuck happened this month???
May
The first action I get in MONTHS and all it is is me sucking dick in a hot ass car, before and after getting to hotbox it in a car with some PoS. See: this post. Clearly I am living the dream.
My dad's birthday is this month. We had a phone call the day of. I didn't know this until late July, but he went to Yosemite for his birthday. Like he could have told me so we could meet up, but noooo. Oh well. He enjoyed himself and that's all that matters.
My mother's birthday is in this month as well. I will light a candle for her, ever though I wanted to visit her for that. Sad I couldn't.
I am interviewed, and hired for my current job. I have no idea what I'm in for, but I signed up for this, apparently.
I have tonsillitis and it sucks. Part of me thinks this is because of that guy. It's not.
My cousins husband will make a drunk ass of himself on Memorial Day weekend. I no longer want to live there.
There is a cheating rat bastard that I had yet to post about. Should I post about him, or let bygones be bygones? I believe in sharing good stories so I think I will post about him.
June
I work, you work, we all work.
My endless numbered days at my cousins house begin. This is a good thing.
I meet up with a guy from Tinder and suck his dick in my car. I have yet to write about this and y'all need to know about this, ASAP.
I get an industrial bar over lunch because I'm a badass.
July
Something happened here, I think.
I went to LA. Got crossfaded with bestfriend. Drunk at brunch with bae, and was just in LA. This visit to LA deserves it's own blog post.
Started talking to the Pegasus. This is where it all began. I was doing laundry and messaging that fuckwad. This is the start of months of leading me on.
August
Going out on the cutest hangout session possible: Pokémon Go at a park happens. And the guy: like I could be his friend and all, but I don't consider myself romantically attracted to him in any way. I just don't. Oh well. Such is life.
I love SF. I finally get to visit this place for the first time since moving to the north and it still holds my heart.
A visit to SF should be commemorated with a tattoo, and it is. I now have a tattoo on my forearm thanks to a guy named Tea, who works in this tattoo place in The Mission. One step closer to being the person I want to be. And it's a really pretty flower tattoo.
I finally broke down and gave up on online dating. I am done. It's a worthless shitshow, and it has broken me...finally. I delete all my dating apps and cut off any and all contact with all peoples from that mess.
September
I turn 26 and I realize that I have made a complete 180 as to what my life was...I think.
I find and get my own place and move out.
For the first time in over a year, I fuck a random guy. Grade: A. (Yes, he too deserves his own post.)
I become a mom to a fur child. This will be a true blessing, as well as a curse.
October
I can't remember what October was about.
The return of the Pegasus.
Fucked someone who...it wasn't good. Like at all.
Had phone sex for the first time.
Slept on a mattress, on the floor of my own studio, and I loved it.
There was also this evil ginger, who led me on what I can only call a text-bullshit-ship.
November
The last sex I will have this year, and it's a C-. In his defense, he's improved since that D- from last time.
We as a country elected a racist fuckwad. I am devastated. So devastated. For all those of you who claim to be not racist, yet voted for donald drumpf, riddle me this: how can you still not be racist after voting for someone who's main platform included some seriously fucked up racist shit? How? Clinton supporters were damned to stand with her on everything, so how can that no be the case with drumpf supporters?
December
When you break ties, be sure to break them good. So when I finally called the Pegasus out on his shitty behavior, I did it so that he may never have the urge to contact me again. Up to this point, he hasn't.
Although my dad came up and visited for That Last Thursday of November, I don't get to see him for Xmas, which kind of sucks, especially because I get to work the day after. FML.
I get little to nothing in the way of gifts, but that's also what I give, so it all evens out.
I am seriously so unhappy at work. Like I can feel myself disconnecting from it all. The last time I felt like this, I quit my job, went through a horrible period of depression, and moved to...here. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I do know that I have to plan thing out before I execute. I can't keep fucking with my life like this. I just can't. I'm an adult now. I have to think things through.
I don't know what this next year will bring, but I ring it in by watching old episodes of a shitty TV show and eating Domino's.
Yes. I survived 2016. Didn't die. Didn't murder. Didn't go to jail. I am so fucking happy about this. Depressed in general, but just happy to have survived. I don't know if this is a win or what, but part of me feels like calling it a wash.
Until the next post, kiddies. Enjoy the jam.