I have paid off a credit card, and reduced the balance of another by half. The latter will be used this weekend.
I love payday Friday. It's awesome getting paid for all the bs I have to deal with. And, even though I have bills, for a second after getting paid, I feel rich. After paying bills, I feel in charge of my life. This is the best feeling until after that money is taken from my account. Yes, I am a believer in payday Friday.
Today I learned that a work friend went on a date last night. Maybe this is slightly sad of me, but I am legit happy for her. I know my love life has been a real failure to launch, but this doesn't mean I can't celebrate the success of others. Am I jealous? Yes, but mostly no. I miss the rush of meeting someone, seeing if you have chemistry, texting, the awkwardness of meeting irl for that first time, that first kiss. Yes, I miss this. And as someone who hasn't dated in the last six years (what I've been doing up here is just fucking tbh), I am living vicariously through all who are dating right now. So yes, I am a bit jealous. As for the "mostly no", I suspect that I will have hard time finding someone that I want to date because of the quality up here. Not to shade, but I will say it's questionable. Also, you know, there's the whole 'I keep using sex as a way to try to connect with guys' and it just doesn't work.
I'm working on my issues and I'm pretty sure step one is owning up to them. I have been used by many losers who do not deserve my time and space and my body.
So how will this weekend start? Well, I went for a drink with mentioned work friend after work. I was going to do laundry but I don't want to? Ugh, I should just get it over with. I will do some minor housekeeping tonight, and packing, before passing out.
And, because this is my current non-stop replay, a German electronic jam: A New Error by Moderat
Until next time.