Lover of Mine- Beach House

Getting back to the topic of my first love...

I still care about him. The last time I saw him, I was mad-dogging him in our English class. It was the last day of class when we would all be meeting together. We were doing peer edit workshops. I was partnered up with some guy I never met, and he was with his friend. I was also wearing glasses for the first time in the class because I hurt my eyes the day before.

There was a point in which I was checking the time, and I saw him, looking at my direction. I assumed he was staring at me. I scolded him, and turned away. To be honest, I now wish I hadn't done that. I wish I would have told him to be careful and to take care; seeing as how he is going to Afghanistan next month. He's in the Army.

I wish that I had told him that I had made all the mistakes in the past; that everything that happened was my fault. But most of all, I wish I had told him that somewhere deep down inside, I still had feelings for him.

But I think it's to late to do so. He's leaving sometime next month. And not to mention, he's in a relationship. I don't want to shit all over his life before he goes to a human made hell.

I care for this person, therefore I will suck it up, and keep all my feelings to myself. It will kill me, but since I care for him, I want to make his life easier. So I will do so.

Don't first loves just suck?

As always, let's be free to be you and me; let's be young and free!