My parents never loved each other.
Many people come to this conclusion at a late age, when they understand the psychology of being adults, and doing what is expected of them. I, however, was fortunate (or perhaps unfortunate) enough to learn this at a young age. At the age of ten, I was informed of the fact that my father was cheating on my dying mother. While this breaks my heart for my mom, I know should take neither side, as she too agreed to a shotgun marriage; one that she stuck with, I believe, to spite my father. If you can't tell by now, my parents were/are very hateful, spiteful people. Which explains a lot of how I am.
I am, close hearted when it comes to people. I chose to not let them close, for I know that whatever care they have for me is only temporary, and that someday, they will leave me, ultimately re-affirming the fact that all people are selfish.I have never been told "I love you" by my father or my sister, so I, in return, will NEVER say those words to them. I believe myself incapable of being loved. 20 years of life have affirmed this. I've never been in a relationship. I continue telling people that I am happy being single, and while being alone has its positive qualities, I am, in the end, always alone. Just once, I would love to have someone say "I love you" and know that they mean it with all their hearts. But that's just the romance reader in me talking. I know that it will never happen, as real life sucks.
So where am I going with this? Oh yes, selfish family members and a past, present, and future without love. What am I going to do? I'm not taking the suicide route, as I expect better from myself. What I do wish to do for myself is get another tattoo, fix up the one that I have, and maybe move away from this poisonous environment. Perhaps it's time for that change.