There are so many things to be said about me. To start off, after my birth, my parents never sang "My Darling" by Wilco. I never had that great teenage romance. And, lastly, I am currently a smoker.
I cannot emphasize enough how much I believe my birth was a mistake. My parents, by the time I was born, seem to hate each other. So why am I here today? Well I believe I am what happens when someone drinks, comes home to his loveless marriage and doesn't use a condom. Yes, I blame this all on Miguel. And as for you kids, always, and I do mean ALWAYS, wear a rubber.
My lack of love life has always been the one thing I don't like to talk about. This leads to my lack of experience. What can I say? Yes, I still have my V-card. But I do go at it on my own as much as I can. Helps me get rid of all my frustration and anger and leads to a good night's sleep. After an "experience" my teenage years, I have shied away from being romanced by one. So where does this leave me? Well I can honestly say I believe that divorce, as well as tax credits are the best parts of marriage. As for relationships? I can, and will shout this out in the streets of Downtown Los Angeles if possible, say that without sex, one is really wasting their time. Yup, I'm very cynical.
And as for the smoking... well I am very proud of this. I work with death on a daily basis and the fact that I am slowly killing myself... well I can only hope that the irony is not lost on you.
As for how all these thing are tied together. Here we go: from the loveless way I was conceived, to the fact that I have never seen true love through my own perspective (movies and television don't count) to the fact that on a daily basis I am slowly killing myself, it can honestly be concluded that I am trying to kill myself. Actually no, that's not true. What can be concluded about me is that I'm very much depressed. Yes, that's it. Any questions?