With A Girl Like You - The Troggs

Hello lovers!

"I want,
to spend my life,
with a girl like you." - The Troggs

A couple of days ago I realized something: I am not a girl who's meant to get married!

Yes, I know that I've mentioned a few times that I don't want to. (If I haven't, well here it goes: I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED.)

I'm gonna be honest and say that deep down, some part of me wants (or wanted) the happy ending. I want (-ed) the perfect prince to come sweep me off my feet, marry me, and to live happily ever after. Yes, this is what I secretly want (or wanted). But earlier this month, or rather, last month, I received reaffirmation of something I didn't want to be true: I'm just not the girl anyone would think of marrying.

So, yeah. And who do you think I have to thank for this? Why none other than my favorite barista (and yours), all around asshole, quintessential pothead, and someone who tries to hard to sound ghetto: JOHNNY! Oh yes... This short gem of a "man" has reaffirmed that I am not the girl that you think of marrying (or getting into a relationship with). I would be pissed about it, (actually, I'm super pissed at him; I tell him that I'm interested and he says he "wants us to still be friends"; ugh! It would be okay, except, I know nothing about him. But now, knowing what I know, that he's been jerking me around, because he confirmed it, I think he's just one big shit!) but I knew, in the back of my mind, that this was a possibility.

I didn't want it to be true. I wanted it to be that I have yet to find that one special guy who will accept me for me and love me unconditionally. But after so many years of looking, I'm really, truly believing that maybe it's just me. Guys just don't see me as a gf/marrying type of girl. And, over time, I'll get over with, and accept this status quo and try to move my life forward.

Who knows? Maybe acknowledging this now will help me prevent future mistakes like marrying a child molester, or murdering a husband that isn't worth the prison time. Maybe this is the catalyst I need to get me out into the world; going places and getting the most out of life without having someone dragging me down.

Either way, don't you worry about me. I'm like a cat; I lick my fur and always land on my feet.

Until next time...