If you know me in real life, you know that I am not one to talk about my job. It's... how do I say it??? Unorthodox? Very much so. Yes, I have an unorthodox job. FYI, if you think that at the end of this post, I'll tell you where I work, and what I do, well, let me say that you'll be wasting your time by reading the rest of this post.
Over the last couple of weeks I have been struggling with the idea of adulthood. From all that I have been taught, via school, television, and movies, this is the point in my life where I have a B.A. in whatever, am moving into my own place, am paying off a car, and have my first important job. My life, however, is so not this. I have no idea when I will complete my B.A. (FYI, I will get more than a simple B.A. if I stay in school). I have no idea of when I will move out. As for a car, well, there's one waiting for me, I just need to get my license. And don't even ask me about my job.
Becoming an adult is when you stop having to do things, and do thing because you want to, right? I want to believe this... I need to believe this. Why, you ask? Well, because if I don't believe this, then all this post-high school/post-teenage/not exactly adult bullshit that I'm going thru is a fucking waste a time and I should just commit suicide right now.
I need to believe that I am at this phrase (not really a phrease, more like a slump) in my life where I'm a little lost, and I'm doing things that I have to... like dealing with asshole co-workers at a job that is not exactly who I am, but where I am right now. And that things will get better. I need to believe that sooner, rather than later I will have a job where I don't have to deal with those assholes, because I'll be out in the field, away from people. Oh, you should know that I want to become a geologist, either working for the USGS or for an oil company. GO BIG OIL!
Dee, if you're reading this, you're not one of the asshole co workers. Neither is Zo. I'd rather not mention who, but I'm sure you know...
I want to believe that one of these days I'll stop working at where I work at, and become a jet-setting geologist who's been to at least 3 continents.
Am I lying to myself?
Probably.
The tragic thing is that I'm not the only one who does this. There are so many of us out there, it's depressing as fuck.
But why do it? We do it because if we don't have anything to look forward to then we won't keep going.
I pray that in the end, I'm really not lying to myself.
I pray that in the end, this is just a slump, and that one of these days I wake up, and things are drastically different.
Oh, and I should also mention that given the opportunity, I would run over the asshole coworkers, not just once, not just twice, but, at the very least, ten times. What can I say? I'm hardcore like that :)
