Dirty Business by The Desden Dolls or The Open Letter

/ Wednesday, December 12, 2012 /
Hello fellow hot dogs!

THIS IS AN OPEN LETTER TO THAT ONE ASSHOLE WHO WORKS AT THE STARBUCKS ON 6TH & SPRING IN DOWNTOWN:

Dear ASSHOLE,

Or should I say, LITTLE BITCH? What the hell is your beef with me? Seriously, dude, what the fuck did I ever do to you? From what I can tell, our "relationship" consists of me, coming to a place where you work, ordering my beverage and or food, and paying for it. I have NEVER (to my knowledge) given you attitude. Yes, I never make small talk but that's because I'm not one of those people who does that kind of bullshit. That's for people who want to be liked by all, and that is SO not me. Frankly, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHETHER YOU LIKE ME OR NOT. You can kiss my ass for all I care.

So here's my problem with you. You are such a little bitch. And here's the thing that bothers me about you. You kiss customer's asses by making small talk about the bullshit Cee-Lo CD (you also mentioned Christina Aguilera and something about The Voice, and yes I was eavesdropping, all of which makes you seem so gay) with the customers in front of me. You seem so happy while doing this that your voice went up a couple of octaves, and then when it came to me (like it usually does), your voice gets this note of disdain like I have herpes or something. What the hell asshole?

Is this because of the fake names? Because if it is, you should know that something has to be wrong with me to want to have a different name every single day. No, douchebag, I'm not fucking with you in any way, shape, or form. This has nothing to do with you.

Is it because of the looks I'm sure I have on my face when you interact with other customers? If so, let me explain; I don't have to, but I will. My god, it's just that the way you interact with them its like.. how do I say this without seeming like a bitch? Well basically, you come off as sooooooooo gay that you might as well have a freakin' rainbow painted on your forehead. Not that there's anything wrong with that, because there isn't. Don't get me wrong, I love gay guys! Love them! One of my favorite people is my gay coworker. My life would be so freaking sad without him. But you... well something about you just seems like a self-hating queen and that just bothers me to bits.

Just so you know, here's what bothers me about you: you give me "subtle" dirty looks and attitude. Bitch, please! Bitch. If you're gonna diss me, you're more than welcome to openly do it. If you wanna be such a fucking bitch to customers at your job enough to give them some attitude and dirty looks and a shitty vibe, why not just go all out? I think I'd respect you more for it if you did. I'd fucking hate your guts, but I would at least appreciate your honesty.

Sweetie, I know you don't like me but if you're gonna be a little bitch queen, just commit to it. Don't half-ass it.

Sincerly,
Someone who wants to slap the LITTLE BITCH out of YOU



Dirty Business by The Dresden Dolls

Author's Note: You should know that I DO NOT have herpes. Thanks!
 
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