It's more of a ugh, it's Valentine's Day. Yet another shitty day to remind my ass that I'm still single, and at the rate I'm going, most likely will be for a long time.
Ugh. Not just on Valentine's Day, but more of certain things that arise from being single on this Valentine's Day. Like...
1) Nobody to wake me up with a text that says: "Hey, babe, IT'S FRIDAY!" If you listen to Power 106, you know where I'm coming from. And, for the record, if I were ever to have a dudefriend, I'd like him to call me 'babe', not 'baby', 'honey', 'sweetheart', or any other shit. No, 'babe' will do. I feel like I'm a 'babe' kind of girl.
2) There were so many SUCKERS out there will balloons in their cars. Not that I want a balloon, because I'm not 5, but more of a I want some sucker (sorry, future dudefriend. hopefully.) to watch Weekend at Bernie's, or some other horrible cliched 1980's movie with me. Either way, that shit, watching Weekend at Bernie's, is going down this weekend. And don't worry Dee, I'll also be watching Mr. Wrong.
3) If I want candy, I have to buy that shit myself. Okay, so normally I would feel no shame in buying candy, not that I really buy it. But for some reason, if a girl buys candy around this "holiday", it's like she's advertising that she's single, and alone, and can't get no one to get her some goddamn candy. Fuck that. And that's why in the future, I will no longer be buying candy the week before Valentine's Day. Instead, I will continue the tradition that I began this year which is: the morning of Valentine's, I go to Walmart, I purchase a party size bag of Cheetos Puffs, and I walk out hugging the bag to my chest with a smile on my face. I OWN MY SHIT.
But all these things aside, no matter how much I would like to have a dudefriend to pick up those El Pollo Loco salads for me and come over and chill while I watch Law & Order: SVU on the couch with my Hello Kitty pillow and my blanket, I'm satisfied with being single. Yes, satisfied. Not necessarily happy, but, meh, I'm me. And things could be a lot worse.
I could have settled. Ugh. Don't get me started.
I could be with someone who hates how I really am and I've had to change to keep this sad excuse of a human being happy.
I could be stuck in a sad ass rut of a relationship.
It's just... things could be a lot worse. And as long as I keep in mind that I'm currently in a decent place, and every night, in the privacy of my room I can dance to Van Halen's "Dance the Night Away" like there's no tomorrow, I think I'll be fine.
Because with David Lee Roth, they had it right: