I know this is something that we're uncomfortable thinking about, let alone saying, but here it goes: Dude, if I am not attracted to you, mentally or physically, I will not waste your time or mine by dating you. This is what is, and I will stand by it.
This is something that already happens all the fucking time in online dating. You know that message that you sent to that one person that you thought was cute and funny but you never got a response? Yeah, I'm sorry to say this, but they weren't attracted to you. That has happened to me, and I've done that to people.
But, starting now, I refuse to be a part of that vicious circle. If I am not attracted to you, I will say so. Do not take this a hit on your appearance, even though you'll really want to. Do not blame it on me being a bitch, even though you'll really want to. Just blame it on the fact that we didn't mesh. And that's okay... that we didn't mesh. We don't have to mesh. Just so you know, you do not have to like everyone you encounter, just like everyone who encounters you doesn't have to like you.
And the ignoring of another because of lack of attraction happens. It actually happens a lot. The thing of it is that people just don't go out and say so. They chose to avoid, ignore, or even blow off (after one date) another instead of saying, "Hey, in all honesty, I'm not interested." Is it that hard? Is it?
It isn't comfortable, and it's never easy. But once you start, you know that you're doing the right thing. And you don't have to be mean about it. Rejection sucks as it is. Think about it this way, if someone were turning you down, how would you want them to say it to you? Yeah, that's what I thought.
So I'm gonna stop the avoiding and ignoring. If I'm not attracted to someone physically or mentally, I will let them know that they do not interest me, period. Will I give them the reason from the get go? No. If they ask, I may or may not answer, because as someone on tumblr said it's okay to turn down someone without explaining your reasons. You owe nothing to a stranger on the Internet who can't understand that they are not entitled to anything from strangers on the Internet.
Oh, and dude who I turned down, you may not like me for my honesty, but take comfort in the fact that I refused to waste your time and mine. And when I say "Good luck with your search, though!" I really mean it.
Until next time, kiddies.
because this is the song I was listening to while writing this: