So I'll write about something that is a work in progress.
Recently dumped, I have really taken to embracing my single life. I really took this for granted before wasting the last 7 months of my life. I complained about being lonely, not having a guy in my life, yada yada yada. No. I was lonely while in a relationship. I was unhappy as well. And what difference did it make when there was a guy in my life but we fought so much that at times it felt like I wasn't with anyone? All I know now is that I'm single, and I'm happy. I do shit for myself when I want and how I want and I truly appreciate the fact that there is no person in my life who is going to be constantly asking me what I'm doing. No.
I am single and very much embracing that fact.
It has taken time, but I am recovering from being in an unhappy relationship and the shitty way I was dumped. It's a work in progress, but once I realized that I was gonna be okay, things became just a bit (or a lot) easier.
There are some things that are going to take some time. By this I mean, reclaiming your shit.
I don't know about the rest of you but when I was part of a couple, we shared music and movies and shows and books. We shared a lot of stuff. There were things that I've loved forever that I shared with him, and that may have gone both ways. I regret it now, but I was a sucker and this was a real learning experience. So I shared shit, and we had moments with shit that I shared. I was super into House of Cards; we binge watched season 3 when it came out. I bought Bossypants and let him borrow it with him after I read it. I wanted to see It Follows. We saw it together. I was obsessed with Mad Men. He was next to me when I watched the series finale. (BTW, that Don/Betty phone call? I cried. After all their shit, it broke him to know that she was dying and that broke me.) See? This happens. You share shit that you're into with someone while they are in your life and once they exit it, all these things that interested you are tarnished by the memory of this person.
All these things of mine that I was so fond of had been soiled by someone else. I can either lose all these things that I loved, or I can reclaim them. I am choosing to reclaim them.
I really can't explain how I'm doing this, but I'll try. It started off with me figuring out that me not being in a relationship is a fucking great thing; that while single-hood would be lonely, it was better than whatever I was involved in before. I did avoid certain TV shows and music after the breakup. Being reminded of the person formerly in my life sucked. I listened to different music, but it wasn't the same. You have your music and nothing can honestly replace that. So I went back to my music. Listen to this one; skip that one because we sang along to it that one time; this one; no, not that one... You get my drift. After a few days of this, I realized that I was torturing myself over something that I loved before that bastard came into my life. So I played a song, a song that we both enjoyed, and I focused on the song. I didn't think about anything that had to do with memories, I just sang at the top of my lungs whatever lyrics I knew. "Hey" by The Pixies is a beautiful thing.
This day was yesterday.
I'm not saying this is easy. And that it isn't a process, it is. I'm still working on this. As of this moment, I have yet to enjoy the fuck out of "Good Mistake" by Mr Little Jeans. (THAT WAS MY FUCKING JAM AND I'M RECLAIMING IT, BITCH!) But what I am saying is that you shouldn't get rid of things that you love because they've become somewhat dirty by someone who fucked you over. Fuck that person! You loved you music, movies, clothes, whatever before that bitch ass, and maybe you should consider giving it another chance. Listen to what you love, watch what you will, and other stuff. Forget the fact that you shared whatever it was with someone you are no longer with. You own your shit always.
That's not just friendship that's romance too,
You like music we can dance to.
You like music we can dance to.